“Hold onto your mind!”
I’ve heard said a lot,
“You’re fighting for your sanity, Be mindful of your thoughts!”
Life just keeps happening,
This isn’t a game, you know,
Wether you stand or fall,
We choose which way to go.
Lost in a maze of chambers,
You used to have a sense,
If being safe
Or in impending danger.
The nights tick by the hour,
Day drags by the minute,
You usually disassociate,
Or suffer right on through it.
The bullies are outside,
And even on the roof,
No one can be trusted,
It’s why she’s now aloof.
Certain voices haunt the most,
Some now sound alike,
No clue what is real
Or voices of a ghost.
For all the places never seen,
Worldly sights never been,
For unlaughed chuckles,
And smiles not worn,
For ties unmended,
And heartaches born,
The unheard music,
Undanced tunes,
Parties never went to,
For serenades uncrooned,
Bliss unshared,
Love unrepaired,
Dates not asked,
Good times that didn’t last,
For endings never started
All the family Departed,
Precious gold unmined,
For roses never smelt,
Or delighting in
Hands undealt,
Places traveled
Yet never toured,
Always being worried
And never reassured,
To sagging lower by weight of trauma,
Each year announcing,
“This time, no more drama”.
The nudges never given,
And silence growing old.
An unspoken vacuum,
My life seems to unfold.
For being a doormat,
In times I could be bold.
For seeming to be lost,
Not knowing a direction,
And knowing what is wrong,
Yet, making bad selections.
To Rollercoasters never rode,
Amusement parks not entered,
To knowing how to ground,
Yet never being centered.
To roles I’d never star in,
Oscars never won,
For many years of tears
If happiness begun.
Through feeling many losses,
Even when I’d won,
Never being the top,
To overindulgence
Not knowing when to stop.
Rants by MaryZary 